The new year feels like the perfect time to start fresh and set new habits. Whilst some people are able to make resolutions and see great results, this is not the case for everyone. It’s likely that a high percentage of new years’ resolutions will be almost forgotten by now. Let’s admit it, this is because they don’t really work. Laura Ramage explains how to turn this around and strive for progression, not perfection.

Often people blame failure due to lack of time or motivation. However, there are many reasons for resolutions not working out. One reason is because often they are born from ‘wanting’ something. Energetically what we are saying here is that we are lacking something, which is not a powerful place to create anything. An example of how you can change this is to reframe your desire. I.e. change “I want to lose weight” to “I am now a healthy person and every action and decision I make will reflect this”.
Another reason for failed new year resolutions, is because we place our happiness onto future success. i.e. “I will be happy when I weigh ……” or “I will be happy when I get that job promotion”. In reality, if we can accept ourselves for the way we are now and find true happiness in the moment, making life changes will be much easier. This is because we will feel worthy of them.
Making life changes can be really hard. So try this; instead of being hard on yourself and making your life restrictive, give yourself a huge hug. Be kind to yourself and steer your focus more towards self-love and self-acceptance.


Here are six ways you can approach life changes with more self-love and compassion:

Get to know yourself
First things first. Get to know yourself. What do you value and why do you want to make changes in your life? So often we can be influenced by our loved ones or society and lose track of what is truly important to us. Getting to the root of why you want to change something can be a really powerful way to align your goals. It can also be used as a reminder if you fall off track.

Practice putting yourself first
Once you know what it is you want to change and why, you will need to practice saying no to the things that no longer serve you and yes to the things that do. This is not a selfish act. When we feel in alignment with our needs, we are able to give so much more to others. Therefore, if you want to become the best version of yourself, you need to set clear boundaries and no more people pleasing.

Practice mindfulness and gratitude daily
When we practice mindfulness and gratitude daily, we are able to appreciate the small steps we have taken towards improvement. We can also stay present with our goals, and not fall into the trap of placing our happiness into the future.  Try to pencil in 5 minutes of meditation and write at least one thing you are grateful for each day.

Get outdoors
Prioritise your time in nature, especially in blue spaces. Not only does this release endorphins, it also enhances mindfulness. When we focus on our surroundings, we connect to something much bigger than ourselves.

Reduce screen time
Excessive screen time not only interferes with sleep, it also can also make you feel distracted. This is the last thing you need if you want to be more present and create healthier life habits. Spending too much time online can also lead to other unhealthy habits, such as comparison. Whilst it’s great to be inspired by others, draw a line before it interferes with your confidence and self-worth.

Find an accountability partner
Don’t carry the burden alone. Fear and procrastination will always be there. However by sharing your intentions, you are one step ahead of self-sabotage. Work with a personal trainer, life coach or even a best friend to help hold you accountable. Share your aims each week and ask them to check in on you. Strive for progression and not perfection.


Working on positive life changes is a daily practice, it takes time. It also requires the right mindset and lots of self-love and compassion. Remember you are worthy of true happiness!

Laura is a small wave surfer, stand-up paddle boarder, cold water enthusiast, mum of two, qualified life coach.
Follow her at @laura_ramage

Photos Philly Stokes